little changes

You know that thing where you are trying to let someone in on your life by sharing a little, and without knowing it they question your insight about your situation and children and imply you are making a big deal out of nothing and you realize that you can't talk to that person anymore about the challenges in your family  because they don't live it and don't believe you when you talk about it? That thing. The learning in whom I can confide. It's not about anger, or shutting certain friends out, it's about picking one's audience. Being choosy about who a support person is or isn't is a practiced skill I am discovering.

A few other little changes are afoot besides me learning to hold my tongue (a little). Cookie's long locks into hawk. New hair clippers are pulling their weight around here. Though cliche to say so, 'tis amazing what a difference a good tool makes. I've used this puppy on all three boys now and I can safely say I am in love with hair clippers. I never thought I'd use those words.




Snip snip on Fikir's adenoids. Which were, according to the surgeon, "incredibly substantial." No more snoring, no more interrupted sleep, no more nasally voice, better pronunciation, more talking. It's beautiful what one hour of surgery can do for a girl. She was a brave little thing, and faced some big fears, and recovery was a slice of cake. What was just as cool was Mimi writing a letter to the their mom about the surgery and reassuring her she was better and how well she's doing. It took us almost an hour to compose seven lines of Amharic text but it was a great exercise. She and I will be getting better. Gmail is pretty cool to offer a way to type in English and it come out in አማረንያ።

This bit starts off with a sigh, because despite what I am about to share, the past few days have been fraught with destruction around the house. But on to the positive: When the safety factor keeps going down in one's house, one must get creative. Tsega doesn't have the ability to leave cords alone.  He plays with them, he unplugs them, he wraps them around things, and worst of all, wraps them around people. It was (and still is) debilitating how much time Hubs and I spend trying to stay a step ahead of a kid with serious issues about safety. The road is long and nowhere near ending. Our new intervention is thankfully working to alleviate a small particle of the stress. Phase one is pictured below.

Phase Two of Slightly Safer Tsega was taking out the bulbs from the over-head light. Tsega had been waking up several times a night (despite melatonin) and wandering around his empty room trying to come up with dangerous stuff to do. He had success often. We took out the lights so he can't turn them on and stay up all night, and on that high shelf (more than seven feet up) there is now a white noise machine, and a small lamp. Between having no cords and no lights to play with, he is sleeping better. I check on his room a few times a night and he is staying in bed more. It's a small miracle. When the going gets tough, the tough starts thinking outside the box. Sure, in a few years when we try to sell the house potential buyers may wonder why there is an outlet by the ceiling. It's the new hip thing! Everyone is doing it! At least everyone with kids with sensory processing issues!

Get on it, friends. All the cool people are doing it...


Barb Aloot said...

So much to digest here. That thing? I know that thing. I hate that thing. I'm grappling with it a lot this week.

Adenoids. Hmmm. He Who Does Not Sleep has adenoids the doctor described as 'huge'. Thanks for mentioning; good reminder to perhaps visit the ENT surgeon again to revisit his decision to do nothing.

Honestly? I think raised outlets could increase the value of your house. Why on earth are always so low? My house had one raised outlet when I bought it, and now has more - all done pre-sensory seeker's arrival for reasons of my convenience.

Holly said...

Thanks so much for your blog. I've really enjoyed it, especially over the past couple months. Your post where you mentioned how stress (personal stress) impacts your attachment really resonated so deeply. Thank you!

Sha Zam- said...

That thing? I know that thing? I meet that thing daily. arrrg. And sometimes- sadly- I think I AM that thing. I don't listen as much as I should. New Year. New me.

Cookie's hair- ROCKIN!! High five big guy.

And melatonin. Waking up? Try less. if no working- try more. But less first if possible. <-see. that thing. Signed- little miss no it all.

scooping it up said...

Sha Zam - please note, I always love and welcome Know it Alls. I love ideas. Even if they don't work for us. It's comments that stop me dead in my tracks like "Well, does your son really cry a lot, he seems normal to me." Derailing my observations and concerns by dismissing them is TOTALLY different than "have you tried such and such?" I always want to hear about such and such. ALWAYS. Especially from you. If you ever think about holding your tongue to me I will kill you. In the nicest possible way. Many of my blog readers and friends provide ideas and insights and I always appreciated them.

kareydk said...

Thinking outside the box is what we have. Our kids aren't in the box -- we can't be either! Thanks for the tip on the clippers; they are in my amazon wish list! My family was on the "oh, that's normal" bandwagon until they took T for a half a day to give me some respite. Shot back in the house saying, "NOT IT!" as they handed him back to me. New perspective. New empathy. Not so much on the offers to take him again.

Me said...

He doesnt pull the curtains down?
and raised outlets sound awesome!

Melissa said...

Glad most of the changes are for the better!

Jamie said...

the outlet by the ceiling is brilliant!!! very very clever my girl:-)
Yay for the letter writing, and for the successful surgery, and Cookie really rocks that mohawk!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, that thing, I know that thing so well. And, my trouble is that it's with family too. Makes a person feel kind of alone (and possibly crazy), so thanks for articulating it, to lessen the alone-ness in it all. I'm really appreciating your blog, Scooping it Up. Thanks for sharing your life with us (your readers). May you and your family have a safe, healthy, and happy new year.